I had an eDate – Almost
Some folks have told me I am brave for sharing my life experiences with such candor.
I don’t think I’m brave at all. I think I’m just honest.
In my office I have a print of a sinking ship. The caption reads:
MISTAKES
It Could Be That The Purpose of Your Life Is Only To Serve As A Warning To Others
That pretty much sums up my philosophy about my life. Not that I’m complaining. Shit happens to me. It always has.
Who else do you know was run over by a school bus (for pete’s sake) while walking to the bus stop on the grass, no less?
Who else do you know has had their rotator cuff torn while training police officers on how to handle folks on drugs during arrests? Yes, my performance of a teen on PCP was so convincing it required physical violence on the officer’s part. My screams of “stop you’re hurting me” were completely lost on the officer. He got a promotion. I got to wear a sling.
And that only covers a two-year period in high school. I’ve got plenty more.
Shit happens and I deal. And because of that I seem to be a bit different from other folks. (No, medication won’t help.)
Somewhere along the line, probably due to the crazy life I’ve had (I really can’t make this stuff up), I dropped my guard. I dismantled my boundaries. I lost my filters.
With me these days – what you see is what you get. Or as Popeye so eloquently states, “I am what I am.” I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Period. Ask my friends. (God bless them all for putting up with me.)
I do believe I have finally read enough self-help books, books about mid-life crisis, spiritual tomes and those “Books for Dummies” (I’ve read pretty much every one of those. “Judaism for Dummies” rocked. I was Jewish for about a week. That’s a story for another day.) for it all to sink in.
I am finally to the point in my life where I know who I am. I may not be sure of what I want to be when I grow up but at least half the battle is won.
To borrow from strategic planning lingo, I know my SWOTs (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats). I see myself warts and all and I am now finally perfectly happy to be me. There are far worse things to be. Osama Bin Laden, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, and Glenn Beck are top of mind.
What I often forget is that other folks aren’t me. And that is not helping in the brutal world of eDating.
See, I take people at face value. Even those I don’t know.
So if you tell me after a week of nonstop communication (including emails, racy texts and phone messages saying you were thinking about me and certain parts of my anatomy) that you are cancelling our date because we lack chemistry, I’ll choose to believe you.
That’s just the kind of gal I am.
I’m not sure I’m cut out for online dating. Heck, I’m not sure I’m cut out for dating at all.
I suppose having a black eye didn’t help. That definitely is a story for another day.
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